Here you will find some of the tools I use when working with my clients. I will be loading a new tool up every month or so, so please check back to see updates. Also, please contact me if you have any comments or questions.
The Topic at Hand Model
A topic at hand could be an actual topic you want to resolve with someone else or a goal or behavioral change you’d like to make for yourself.
If we’re like a closed fist, keeping what’s going on inside, the different facets of our awareness are often hidden from ourselves as much as they are from others.
Taking stock of each facet or node of our awareness helps us to be present, clear our thinking and take agency over the topic at hand. Think of the types of awareness as fingers on a hand, the topic as the palm and the action you want to take being an opposable thumb. The fingers are; SENSE, THOUGHT, EMOTION, and INTENTION. I describe them each as follows;
SENSE: This is your awareness of what you can touch, taste, see or smell. If it’s about another person, keep it behaviorally specific (interpretation falls under the “THOUGHT” category).
THOUGHT: This is what you make of your other awarenesses. It is the meaning attributed to but not necessarily the fact about what is happening. Often people will say, “I feel like ‘X’” is (at least in this model) what we think is going on. Intuition is a whole other level that encompasses all the senses and none of them simultaneously.
EMOTION: People have a tendency to lead with emotion, often clouding the perception of senses and thoughts. This can lead to a lot of trouble, so it’s good to remember to take stock of the other types of awareness, too. Emotions are basically subsets of “mad”, “glad”, “sad”, and “afraid”. Take as much time as you can to explore what is behind each emotion you notice, like peeling an onion. Initial anger could be covering fear. Dealing with the fear (getting to the root of the awareness) has more leverage than circling around the anger.
INTENTION: The outcome you want for yourself and other stakeholders. Your intention might change after spending some time getting present with your awarenesses of your topic or goal.
ACTION: Once you’ve taken stock of your awareness of a topic (or goal etc) you can act with more clarity and agency - you are less likely to be let your actions be run by your emotions. This is where you give your intention traction and inertia.